My Introduction to Film - Netflix Style

Earlier in the year, it dawned on me that my knowledge of film is somewhat lacking. I was involved in conversations where I felt nodding along was more appropriate than providing any insight, purely because I had nothing to add. For some reason, on this occasion, I felt this just wasn't acceptable.

This is when I was handed a mission by my dearest older brother, who also felt I needed to up my game. My obsession was Netflix was clear, but it was only TV series that were getting any attention. He compiled a list of films, some of which I had already seen, and informed me that these were a group that needed a watch.

To cut a long story short, I ploughed through the list. But more importantly, I documented my thoughts. You'll see below the viewpoints of a man new to film analysis, moronic and ignorant at times and slightly, well, confused by this new world he finds himself in.

WARNING - Spoilers may be contained within the content... The information has barely been tampered with, although some things were necessarily changed due to inside jokes which wouldn't be relevant to the wider audience.

And it begins... now.

There Will Be Blood - 8/10

After a particularly slow start, Daniel Day-Lewis does a particularly good job of making what seems like a harmless character develop into somewhat of a money-hungry maniac. The weird thing about it from my perspective is that it's only after a bit of contemplation you realise that was always in his character really. Even before the Oil and shizzle. It's no wonder HW makes the not-so bold move to leave him in the end. Pretty good call if you ask me, after being left on a train deaf, not a man I want to be around really. 

Lost in Translation - 9/10

Bill Murray playing a non-comedic role and Scarlett Johansson seeing that guy who's in loads of things but I can't remember his name. Simple idea but done stupidly well. When I mentioned this at work Amanda said "It really makes you want to go to Tokyo!" I disagreed, there were too many people. I can't believe they didn't run away together at the end, but it did make me think about how difficult it would be for foreigners settling in in this country. But the film itself was alarmingly good.

It's Such a Beautiful Day - 9/10

So when I saw it was a short film I knew it would a bit quirky. But this was insane. The way the picture came up in circles, Bill was starting to annoy me. But then it all became abundantly clear. Rated highly purely because it was such an imaginative way of portraying the life of mental illness. I'm just glad I didn't watch it when I was hungover, that would've messed me right up. For a film that lasted about an hour, it felt at times like a lifetime, but not in a bad way, in an insanely gripping way.

Rear Window - 8/10

I could kind of relate to the characters leg injury, but this film portrayed precisely why being nosey is not the way forward. And that people should close their blinds. If he'd have just kept himself to himself none of the craziness wouldn't of happened. But of course then the film wouldn't be quite as good I suppose. Patrick McGoohan should've played that character. The moment he broke his other leg was hilarious. Either way I enjoyed it.

12 Angry Men - 9.5/10

This was absolutely brilliant. I've always been amazed by the judicial system and the prospect of innocence before being proven guilty. I've never been on a jury, but I'm pretty sure I would be Henry Fonda. It would take something pretty special to convince me someone was 100% guilty of a crime. But, more importantly, how we are all different under these circumstances, the blunt arrogance versus the reflective indecisiveness. Superb film.

Dr. Strangelove - 5/10

My first negative review? Seriously? Bet you didn't think I was capable of that did you? I got all excited, love a war film, especially a Cold War possiblility!! I suppose it was supposed to be good because of the intensity prior the last final act, but I didn't feel it. Plus, the character, I mean I'm all for uniqueness but again, just an odd person. It's a no from me.

Once Upon a Time In America - 7/10

When I saw the film was nearly 4 hours long I quivered like a nonchalant salmon going upstream, so I had prepare for the marathon ahead. To sum it up, really just a gangster's life on the run. Max is a disgrace though, picked a supposedly unusual way to kill himself! Noodles is a perfectly metaphorical name for his character, what is your obsession with Deborah? She has the personality of a trout, sucker for a dancer clearly. Plus, he could've maybe been a little less rapey. But yes, flipped time nicely, all-in-all, a rather fishy experience and I wouldn't say I was hooked.

Vertigo - 9/10

Now after the start of this film I was alarmingly skeptical, yer good one, a woman who is possessed by a dead woman, what a ridiculous concept. And it turned out it was. I was so hypnotised by this ridiculousness that I couldn't have pictured that happening. Nothing like a cheeky twist. Fair to say Scottie was pretty aggressive, direct as Judy put it, Midge got the brunt of it though, as if she thought painting that picture was a good idea, moron. And then Judy only went and jumped, these women just weren't thinking it through. Either way the film developed brilliantly, very clever, an enjoyable watch.

Manhattan - 8/10

So... Woody Allen plays Tinder? But in a bit of an unusual way. All got a little bit out of hand as well, Yale the moron, thinking it was a good idea to set them up. Foolish. But as far as basically a film about relationships going array, not too bad. To start with I found the way he talked so openly about relationships a bit weird and borderline uncomfortable at times, but I suppose that's really because not many people do? But yes, not a bad watch.

Ghost in the Shell - 9/10

This was really good. My first Anime watch, at first I thought I was walking into a generic action film but it didn't half get a bit complicated. Still, I can understand why it's being made into a film next year, not sure Scarlett Johansson is ballsy enough though, she was a proper badass. Very gripping, in your face, enjoyable film.

Love - 7.5/10

I think there are only so many times I can watch the same two people having sex so that for me was where it lost points. Very artsy, and I consider myself to be slightly of that ilk but this was a little bit far. But then I suppose stereotypically this is what happens when two people who are very "out-there" hit it off, hence why I haven't given it a horrendous rating. Not my style, but I can see what they're doing.  

Annie Hall - 9/10

Similar to "Love" in the obsession with one person angle, which is good but what I loved about this was the interaction with the camera and at times with other people randomly. When you have an infatuation with someone it's the numerous questions that go around in your head, quite cleverly done. Time flips as well, this in comparison with "Manhattan" is better I feel it's less about the jumping from one woman to the next and more about the singular person which I think gives a deeper insight.

Battle Royale - 8/10

The interesting analysis of suddenly having to leave all previous emotions behind and kill all your friends in order to survive. Would you group up or immediately get the picture and go out in a blinding destructive massacre? A good film and not always predictable, I mean I should've seen the end coming. Not sure about the guy who just does it for fun, I mean what kind of a hobby is that?! Bit of a crazy one... But I think the film typifies the difference in people in situations of surprise carnage, suddenly the fake little school-based rivalries were picked out for reasons to kill, no wonder people mention how horrendous bullying is, turns out it might get you a head-shot.

The Lives of Others - 9.5/10

Brilliant. Absolutely top class excellence. This is a great example of "What a ground-breaking moment in modern history, how can we make a film surrounding this?" and bang! Again, Weisler seems like an absolute nutter, disciplined to the core, and suddenly someone like Christa gets involved in his life in the most ridiculous way possible and it can break a man just like that. The ending was sensational, the man with a writer's block was saved by the man who essentially saved his life from absolute torture. I was teetering in the 8's until that final scene, very touching and just really put it all into perspective. 

Force Majeure - 8/10

I hate emotional conflict at the best of times and I've never felt more awkward than the scene where Ebba just blurts out in front of beardy GOT man and girlfriend about the fake avalanche incident. Admittedly it wasn't a great move by Tomas, but I just presumed he was a stubborn male, I didn't realise he was on the verge on an epic breakdown. I think it's fair to say this might be why we never went skiing, talk about a bit of a disaster holiday. Filmed exceptionally well, I think that's probably why it felt so awkward because strong pauses would be taken and awkwardness would just surround the room. Even beardy had to swim in the sea of emotional turmoil thanks to the stupid girlfriend, just because your being hypothetical doesn't mean there isn't an element of truth behind it. Moron. 

Pi - 8.5/10

Welcome to the mind of Mad-man Max. Lacked any social skills and was ultimately amazing at Maths. Amazing how a subject can just engulf a human being to such an extent. Did he metaphorically drill the maths out of his head at the end? Kind of makes sense given you were then given a brief moment of the man he could be when not obsessed by numbers. The perfect example of a imbalanced human. I suppose where it lost points if any for me was the theory behind the jewish people, the storyline seemed quite pointless and by the end it was just another thing for him to run away from. And Marcy and her random chip of glory, felt like two gap fillers on a good album. Nonetheless, good film.

Antichrist - 7.5/10

Good lord that was a bit graphic. Something tells me that when you lose your child in such a way, maybe psycho-analysing your wives reaction isn't the way to do it. I think he must have realised at the point that she decided it was time to put a hole through his leg. It was well filmed but I think horror/dark films of that ilk aren't quite my style. Willem Dafoe can't half play an evil man really well though. Maybe a little while until I go on my next holiday related to the woods... Whenever that'll be. 

Baraka - 8/10

I was waiting for Attenborough to start his commentary but it just never happened! But in all seriously, a very good idea and very original. I was starting to drift off but the torture scene scared the bejeebus out of me. Very gripping. Simply put, maybe the world would be a nicer place if everyone just shut up for 5 seconds? Enjoyable watch.

Deep Web - 8/10

Very interesting story and interesting the angle they took. This is guy set up an open market so people could access drugs and all sorts easily and he's sold as the god who highlighted the governments inability to leave people alone online. Could he quite easily been sold as a maniac who somehow could access all this material? Anyway, good place to maintain anonymity, the dark web, but DPR was found quite easily, kind of the point he was trying to make I suppose. Personally, I'd have like to have seen more emphasis on the court case, it was surprising how quickly that turn around.

Network - 8/10

And how the television set can effect even the average person. How far do people go to get good ratings? Turns out taking a mad man and making him do the news was the way forward, but I suppose this is a prime example of work over life balance. The married man makes the error and regrets it pretty swiftly. Good film, strong insight and more importantly a good example of how we clearly spend too much time in front of screens and it can have a very strong effect on our lives. Interesting how I'm making that point given this current project I appear to have got myself involved in. But hey, at least I'm aware of the issue. 

The Thin Red Line - 8.5/10

I think arguably the extra .5 may just be because I do like a war film. It's no "Saving Private Ryan" but it has a rather brilliant cast and all the relevant necessities of a war film. Strong relationships stemmed from back home juxtaposed with scenes of war to give the indication of how ridiculous it would have been to be alive at those times. Not overly emotional but also for me takes a strong look at the aspect of how far you would go, how heavy your heart would be, having to make decisions which could quite easily destroy a or many men's lives. Do the decisions of everyday life have any comparison with those of what those had to make on the front line? Doesn't appear that way. 

45 Years - 8.5/10

How strong is a relationship really? Well this is an interesting bit of analysis. When a man finds out his girlfriend's body has been found from pre-his current marriage, he kind of loses the plot a little bit. She died in a mountain accident (another reason to avoid hill-walking) but this is clearly a man who maybe doesn't show his emotions that much in everyday life, suddenly something like this can make you act unexpectedly. Well-filmed, very sombre atmosphere, definitely one to watch. 

Millers Crossing - 9/10

The Coen Brothers tend to make me quite happy. 9/10 purely because of the type of film it was I suppose, action-packed gangster film. Tommy is a bit of a nutter and counts himself as the big cheese of the whole operation, and clearly his tactical skills in the area of deception are pretty top notch. Good for the numerous twists and turns, I wouldn't say it's too over-the-top gangster as well, it's quite quirky in an unusual way so I think it would suit a wider audience than expected. With names like "Tommy", "Leo" and "Frankie" it could not be more New York if it tried. Enjoyable watch.

Downfall - 9/10

Superb film and a really clever idea for a film. I'm guessing it's been done before, but it gives a strong indication of what it must've been like for the Nazi's/Hitler, stubborn as they were, to give in at such a important part of history. I was disappointed to see Hitler actually involved as a character, but he was played quite well. Amazing how when I describe it he seems more like a mythical creature, it's almost as if what he did was so horrendously disgusting, I can't quite believe it actually happened.

2 Days 1 Night - 8.5/10

I think what I found incredible about this was something which to any other person would seem like such a menial storyline, but you get so engulfed in what the pair have to go through to try and convince people in a small town between money and community, that it becomes amazing. A unique and enthralling watch.

The Strange Colour of Your Bodies Tears - 8/10

I can usually handle weird and dark atmospheric types of films. And I'm always up for something a bit different. But this was just a bit too far for me! One thing I can say, it is alarmingly gripping, one of those where I really want to look away, but I really can't look away. Hypnotised almost by the craziness in front of me. Basically, a man loses his wife and it's a long, crazy road to find out what happened to her, a very long road, good luck predicting what happens, because it's practically impossible.

Samsara - 9/10

This film was brilliant, and was exactly what I needed in my hungover state. Soothing yet gripping at the same time, same as Baraka (guessing it's done by the same person? Robert Fricke?) but I think maybe the pictures were more stunning. Many a moment was my mouth wide open in astonishment at the beauty that is the world that we live in. Or that we don't live in. It genuinely makes me want to consider travelling, which is something I will probably never do, I just need more of these types of films to be made so I don't have to move. Very relaxing.  

World War Crisps: The Popcorn Revolution

Now, I don't know about you but there are only a few things in life which I'm quite sure will never let you down. Whether it be a well-layered bacon sandwich after a hefty night out or a well-placed sofa in front of a television, this ramble is based solely around a beautiful food product, which now finds itself in a war. I'm talking of course, about crisps.

The public are oblivious to this situation and it is happening right under our noses. Let me give you a run down as I have been watching this development closely.

It all began in 2012, crisps were just minding there own business, sales were consistent and rolling well. Walkers were continuing there beautiful reign, which the crisp world was well aware of and accepted this. But then... this happened.

An article was released (by a paper that shall remain unnamed) suggesting that now was the time to ditch crisps as a new healthier and convenient force was coming to the shelves. Sales for this product had jumped 300 per cent, which is a lot of per cent, and suggested that this product was "suddenly the most fashionable snack on supermarket shelves". The product, was popcorn.

Now, let's rewind time. Because we can. In the early noughties popcorn knew its place. It dominated the cinema area, simply salt or sweet, simply brilliant. Because that is what popcorn is at this point. It isn't complicated, because the cinematic experience shouldn't be so, crisps doesn't get a look in.

Crisps are aware of this and accept it. They don't understand why when watching television popcorn is a better option, if anything it's louder and would prove a frustrating distraction whilst watching a film, but that was that. Crisps lived outside, popcorn inside, the prospect of otherwise occurring was just not on.

But then Popcorn just decided to get greedy. Suddenly this wasn't good enough.

I'm not sure what happened? Why did this occur? What MONSTER, decided that it would be a good idea to expand and just full on attack the market where crisps clearly ruled. Bread and Milk looked on in amusement. They had no invitation and in my opinion, it was just darn rude.

"But hold on!" said the people of crisps.

"WE RULE THIS LAND... But we shall accept your back-door entrance, on this occasion."

Maybe it would be nice to have another fair option to bring to the table. But by inviting popcorn to play, they didn't realise they had effectively allowed an aggressive enemy to come in, with tanks and shit, and blow the situation wide open.

And then it happened. It was no longer just salt or sweet, it was flavours galore. CheeseCorn, Caramel Crisp, Cashew Caramel Crisp and then the recipes developed and suddenly popcorn could offer these supposed "fashionable" options which quite frankly made the crisps world want to vom like an aggressive drunk.

Over a 10 year period Popcorn has gone from cinematic rare food to a regularly purchased snack. And as the public, we only had ourselves to blame.

We had been brainwashed into thinking that because it's "new" and "fresh" it needs to be done. The truth, which most people appeared to be avoiding for no apparent reason, was that crisps offer all this and more.

Crisps were under pressure.

But then... this happened:

http://www.actiononsalt.org.uk/less/surveys/2015/Popcorn/157970.html

If you can't be bothered to read the link above, let me break it down for you.

Popcorn has shit loads of salt in it. Which turns out, is NOT a good thing.

Thankfully for the kings of crisps, we live in a world now where food health is quite important. I guarantee that most people will have a conversation daily which will involve either calorie counting or people "trying to be good", even though a high percentage of people don't know what that actually is.

Crisps knew they weren't off the hook, it's not like they were alarmingly healthy, but it took the positive public word of popcorn and shook it up a bit. Fashionable food nowadays tends to equal healthy, affordable and ideally quick.

Now we come to the present day, and after a topsy-turvy war we appear to be at a stalemate. Having said that, popcorn's persistence doesn't seem to be halting, the battle will continue to commence.

So I think we need to have to take a good looooong look at ourselves.

Do we want to live in a world where popcorn is the dominant snacking option? I think not...

We owe it to crisps to help them get through this treacherous time. They have been servicing our needs and wants for decades and deserve respect. Whether it be a simple Ready Salted or an elaborate Thai Sweet Chilli, we can't let these beautiful flavours go down without a fight.

So, I think it's time to kick popcorn in the Prawn Cocktail. Go away popcorn. You suck.